Review: Imperial Health Club


I went to Imperial Health club on Makati Ave last Friday. I wasn’t sure at first whether they offer ES (extra service) but it doesn’t matter as I really wanted a massage.

A few months before, my friends and I went to the adjacent massage parlor which charges PhP 400 for a full body massage. There are no rooms but only a curtain to separate you from the other clients. Obviously, no ES was involve.

Back to Imperial Health Club. When I reached the entrance, I asked the guard how much would it cost me for a massage. The guard said PhP 1,300. From there, I know that on this establishment ES is present.

And so I went inside and went to the second floor for the receptionist. The receptionist asked what kind of service I would be availing. I said I’ll just go with a single. So she then pointed me to a curtained glass window and to choose the girl. I chose number 3 who I later found out the name as Venus.

After choosing,  I was told to go up to the 3rd floor on a certain room number. The room has a sliding door with no lock (I’m having 2nd thoughts on whether there will be an ES or not). There is a single bed with drawers on each side. The toilet and the shower room is separated and there is also a dressing area with mirrors and stuffs.

So then Miss #3 entered and introduced herself. She then asked me to take a bath and afterward we went on with the massage.

The massage is mediocre at best. It was better at the other parlor, no doubt. Then after the half-hearted massage, the girl asked me if we should move on to what I really came for. I feigned innocence and asked her what she was talking about. She asked me if I wanted extra service. I asked how much, expecting it to be within the range of the room price as is the rule of thumb with most MP.

Well, I was wrong. She said she’s charge me PhP 3,000 for the complete service. Seeing the shock on my face, she immediately lowered it to PhP 2,000. My face was still in shock as PhP 2,000 in my opinion is still way out of the range of the room price. I maintained my shock look for several seconds but she didn’t lower it any further. I told her that I’ve only brought a total of PhP 2,000 with me and only PhP 700 remains.

She then said something that I never expected. She told me that since I live nearby (we’ve had some chit chat and has informed her that I’m staying at a nearby hotel), that we can just do the deed now and I can comeback later with the amount needed. Wow, I could do the deed with her and then not come back and there would be nothing she can do about it. Unfortunately, my conscience got the better of me and just respectfully declined her offer.

And so we wrapped things up, the look of disappointment present in her face, and I went home just 1,300 peso poorer.

To complete the report, here are the essential grades:

Quality of girls available: 5/10

Quality of chosen girl: 6/10

Quality of rooms: 7/10

Quality of massage: 4/10

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About Squared
House of Squared is written by that guy who knows more than the average Duterte supporter, which isn't saying much given that most of them are morons.

12 Responses to Review: Imperial Health Club

  1. mikepopo says:

    4 for the massage? hmm….. hehee!

  2. rayanami says:

    wala talagang silbe yung massage

  3. buwayahman says:

    Hard to believe that, long time back, this was THE premiere massage parlor in Makati.

    • rayanami says:

      Well, I think the girl was more focused on the extra service rather than giving a terrific massage.

      One question though, how come it’s not on the MTC listing of MP. I tried looking for an Imperial MP thread but couldn’t find one. The only thing there is an Imperial spa in Q.C.

      • venus says:

        d 22ong wlang kwenta massage q sau,u made me feel bad

  4. Kicking Fish says:

    Popo bastos ka talaga

  5. j says:

    brilliant report. i have been wondering about that place for some time. just as i thought, sounds like a total rip-off. thanks for saving me the cash.

  6. Mond says:

    saan ba yung imperial? address please. thanks!

    • Starscream says:

      It’s along Makati Ave. In front of A. venue mall.

      • Mond says:

        Long Live Starscream!
        nakow! andun lang pala, hinahanap ko kanina, nasa guanzon st., na ko

        Thank You and More bengbengs to come!

      • Starscream says:

        Bago po umaksyon, mag-proteksyon. Hehe.

      • Mond says:

        Sarado na pala, kaya di ko makita.

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